Tryin’ to Reason with Hurricane SeasonPosted on Sat, Aug 27, 2011

No way out but through.

Dear Family and Friends,

When last we left that little tumor in my right lung, we were planning on using it as a barometer to see how our Sleazy Uncle Doxorubicin is getting the job done. Well, this week was the big week: where we had the tests to discover how my chemotherapy is working. I spent a lot of this last week distracting myself from thinking about it, but it was always there, the pressure building, right on the horizon. Finally, on Thursday, I went in to get my CT scan. Yesterday, Kristin and I went in to see Dr. Keohan and got the results back from the test.

Squalls out on the gulf stream
Big storm’s comin’ soon.
Passed out in my hammock,
and God I slept till way past noon.

And I’m happy to report, much as a barometer drops when the hurricane gets near, that stupid little lump has gotten smaller. Uncle Sleazy is getting it done, and we’ll be riding out the storm with him at our side. Even though he sometimes touches me in uncomfortable ways, he’s really beating the hell out of the cancer cells. It went from 1.1 x 0.9 cm to 0.9 x 0.7 cm. We have decided it’s the first time shrinkage is a really good thing.

And now I must confess, I could use some rest.
I can’t run at this pace very long.

This hurricane has me remembering my time in Florida, and that strange calm before a big storm hits, the electric charge on the back of your neck, the pressure of the air and knowing it was coming and there was nothing you could do about it. All you can do is ride it out, no matter what gets thrown at you. Which I’ve come to accept as my attitude towards this stupid cancer thing. You chart a course, head into the wind and deal with whatever comes up, because there’s no way out but through. And while we’re at it, remember to have as much fun as humanly possible while it’s going on.

Yes, it’s quite insane, I think it hurts my brain,
but it cleans me out, and then I can go on.
– Jimmy Buffett

So the Decision has been made and we will be continuing the treatments for four more rounds, which is typical for Doxorubicin. They will be administered every 4 weeks, giving me a little more time to recover between treatments. Now that we’ve been through two of these, we are much better able to see the road ahead of us. While it can get rough the first few days after the treatment, my immunodeficiency problem in week 2 has been handled, so I’m pretty much good to go for the remainder of the cycle.

Simply put, I am so ready to get back out in the world, see people, have fun, and dance!

Much, relieved, love,

– Ben

Categorized as Zipperlist Updates

About the Author

An actor trained in physical theater, living in New York City, livin' the dream. I am married to an amazing woman without whom I'd probably be dead by now, and step-dad to the irrepressible Izzy! I sculpt masks, I juggle, I act, I design graphically-type-stuff, and when offered the choice between two evils, I take the one I've never tried before. I listen, I fly planes, I bike to the beach, I am a tea brewing ninja, I design new board games with my daughter, and I tell stories... too many stories. And while I used to be trying to learn to juggle my work, living in this city, my dreams, my wife, but now I am reminded every day they are all one, all my life, and every day is one more day I get to live it.

Comments (5 Responses)

  • Chris Petrus says:

    Great news, Ben! Love reading your blog. Hope to see you at the reunion and dancing!

  • Ann Hair says:

    Great news, favorite cousin. XOXO

  • Diana says:

    Hi Ben,
    It was great seeing you at the reunion! Love your humorous spirit. Keep on shining that bright light within you – God will do the rest.
    Your cuz Diana

  • Hi Ben,
    I”m not sure if you remember me by name. I am Diana’s older sister. It was good seeing you again at the reunion. I want you to know we are praying for you and will continue even after you are healed. You are on our prayer list at church. I’d like to try some that tea you’ve been brewing. I live in Stony Point, NY just across the river from you.
    Hope to hear from you soon. We would love to see you again. Our church (Living Hope Fellowship) in Tomkins Cove welcomes you and your family anytime.
    Love your cousin, Debbie

  • Aunt June says:

    Keep on keepin’ on, nephew. Love you.

All Content © Zipperleg Chronicles 2013 - Except for most of the photos, those are taken from the Internet. Sorry.
I am not a doctor, so none of my ramblings should be taken as medical fact.
Your milage may vary.