The Zipperleg Chronicles - Fighting cancer with style!

Ode to Pre-Surgical SoapPosted on Fri, Dec 02, 2011

Today I noticed a little blue bottle sitting among my soaps in my shower, sad and alone among the pretty bottles my wife gets me so I won’t smell stinky. It’s been there since the operation on my lung, and it’s time its song was sung.

Ode to the Pre-Surgical Soap Still Sitting in My Shower

Hibiclens, oh Hibiclens!

My pre-surgical love for you never ends!

Your solution of chlorhexidine gluconate

Above all others, makes me feel great!

You have that cleansing power,

And for some reason are still in my shower,

And my love for you shall never abate.

Hibiclens, oh Hibiclens!

I see the world through your rosy lens!

Your sudsy fuchsia hue

Scrubs me clean, through and through.

While you leave my skin slightly pinker than before

And though I know your solution is only 0.4 (w/v)

To me it feels like a triple 1.2 (w/v)!

Hibiclens, oh Hibiclens!

For you I’d wade through bogs and fens!

To the bottom of your baby-blue bottle,

I charge at full throttle!

The thought of your anti-microbiotics and bactericide

Make me warm and fuzzy inside,

Til’ finally out of the tub I waddle!

Hibiclens, oh Hibiclens!

You clean all my curves and bends!

You are my one and only selection

To prevent surgical bacterial infection.

And your hibiscus scent is so divine

It drives me to ectasy sublime!

Alas, my time with you is nearly at an end,

So I must ask time and time again:

Oh Hibiclens, won’t you be mine?

About the Author

An actor trained in physical theater, living in New York City, livin' the dream. I am married to an amazing woman without whom I'd probably be dead by now, and step-dad to the irrepressible Izzy! I sculpt masks, I juggle, I act, I design graphically-type-stuff, and when offered the choice between two evils, I take the one I've never tried before. I listen, I fly planes, I bike to the beach, I am a tea brewing ninja, I design new board games with my daughter, and I tell stories... too many stories. And while I used to be trying to learn to juggle my work, living in this city, my dreams, my wife, but now I am reminded every day they are all one, all my life, and every day is one more day I get to live it.